One of the most painful things anyone can experience is finding out that your partner is cheating. Infidelity in marriages or committed relationships can take a severe toll on the relationship. You’ll have to find ways to rebuild the trust and overcome the hurt. But a one-time cheating episode doesn’t always spell doom for the relationship. However, what happens if your partner cheats again?
When you have a partner that you’ve caught involved in affairs outside your relationship more than once, there’s cause to worry. You may just be with a serial cheater. Nowadays, serial cheating has become a theme for several relationships globally. Sometimes, you may not even be aware that your partner cheats frequently. Other times, you may be wondering, “Why does my partner cheat so much?”
Although the “why people cheat” discussions have been on for centuries, catching a serial cheat is possible. Understanding the serial cheater’s mentality is very important for detecting and stopping them from further infidelities. If you’re with a partner that is always cheating, it’s also normal to ask if serial cheaters ever change. And to answer this question, we’ve put together a review to help you handle cheating. We’ll tell you how a cheater’s mind works, catch a cheater, etc. Let’s take a look.
Serial Cheaters Psychology
When you experience infidelity, the first thing that comes to mind is the “why.” It’s normal to try and understand why your partner decided to act that way, knowing that it’ll hurt you. This is especially true when episodes of infidelity happen more than once. So why does your spouse keep cheating? Well, there’s no simple answer to this question.
Most experts put down the action of serial cheats to their psychological state or a certain mentality. For some serial cheaters, it’s hard to explain why they cheat. Many of them indulge in it for the thrills involved, the excitement of doing something normally forbidden. For some others, it could be as a result of discontent or unhappiness in their current relationships. These sets are always looking for little bursts of bliss elsewhere, so always need to cheat.
There are several other reasons why serial cheaters behave the way they do. The behavior could also stem from childhood traumas, personality disorders, sex addiction, or just plain selfishness. Some even cheat because of low self-esteem. A serial cheat’s mentality is one that can adequately be assessed by a psychologist or through therapy. You may not be able to understand why they keep cheating until you get help.
But before you go for therapy, you’ll have to confirm if your partner has been involved in multiple extra affairs. There are some signs you should lookout.
Signs of a Serial Cheater
Some habits are peculiar to serial cheaters. These serial cheaters signs differentiate between them and one-time “offenders.”
They Get Defensive When Caught
When you catch a serial cheater, the first thing they will try to do is deflect blame. People who regularly indulge in extra affairs outside their relationships always find ways to justify their actions. They blame everything and everyone possible before accepting the blame.
A serial cheat will readily blame their spouse for different reasons anytime they get caught in the act. From excuses like “I’m addicted to sex” to citing lack of support, attention, etc. The serial cheater looks for ways to be defensive as a way to justify cheating. If your partner doesn’t accept their wrong and show remorse when caught, you should be very careful. They may just be an expert at it!
They Don’t Show True Remorse
If your partner is slow to show remorse when caught, it may not be their first time down that lane. Serial cheaters hardly feel guilt, making it hard for them to accept wrong. As stated earlier, they try to blame it on other situations first. And if your spouse eventually apologizes, take note of the quality of apology. Any partner that apologizes for cheating to avoid discussing the topic may not be genuinely apologizing.
They Don’t Think Cheating Is a Big Deal
If your partner doesn’t feel that having other entanglements outside yours is a big deal, maybe you should look elsewhere. One of the characteristics and mentality of a regular cheater is a disregard for the seriousness of infidelity. The typical serial cheater doesn’t think cheating is something to get hurt over, and they’re used to it. They may find it hard to grasp why you get bothered when they cheat on you. If your partner ever justifies cheating or is always saying “everyone cheats,” you may be dating a serial cheater.
They Try to Avoid Long Term Commitment
Most partners of people that often cheat would find that their spouses are great at avoiding long term commitment. When your boyfriend or girlfriend is always trying to find a way out of committing seriously, or when they try to avoid answering questions to define your relationship, cheating may be involved. If your partner doesn’t introduce you to their friends but always spends time out meeting said friends, something may be wrong. Serial cheaters tend to prevent their partners from getting into their lives too. Having a routine plan that your partner regularly tries to get out of could mean something.
They Are Charming
With one-time cheaters, having relations with another person could have happened by mistake. Maybe because of alcohol intoxication, seduction from the other party, or something else. However, the case is different with people who cheat regularly. They are confident, slick, and good conversationalists due to their experience going on other dates. Most serial cheats also avoid talking about their personal life and former relationships and can talk their way out of anything. Even when caught cheating, they are smooth talkers and can convince you to overlook almost everything.
They Have Cheated Before in Previous Relationships
If your relationship started on a similar note, maybe he cheated on his then partner with you before making it official. Then, there’s always the possibility of him doing it again. Also, if you have a partner that had cheating episodes in their former relationships, you should be wary. Accomplished cheaters don’t just change overnight. If your spouse is in this category of people, try to watch out for the signs and find out if they are cheating.
One thing all cheaters have in common is being secretive. If your spouse always tries to hide things from you, deletes stuff from their computer or phone, or starts keeping late nights, maybe that partner has returned to their lousy cheating habits.
How to Spot a Cheater?
When your partner shows some of the signs above, you should take steps to confirm their actions. There are several ways to catch a cheater, and most of these methods involve physically tailing the partner’s moves.
Spotting a cheater starts from your home. Watch out for the signs. Has your partner started behaving differently lately? Are you beginning to see some signs he/she exhibited during the last cheating episode? Or do you have suspicions? If yes is your answer to any of these questions, you should take action. Here are some methods to try.
Tailing Their Movements
You can try keeping an eye on your spouse’s movements to know where they go in their spare time. It’s logical to assume that your partner’s recent late nights may be due to a new relationship. However, knowing their actual whereabouts is the only way to confirm. You can follow them or hire someone to tail their movements. But this can be time-consuming and expensive. Planting spy cameras and GPS devices can also help you spot a cheating spouse.
Another way to monitor your spouse’s actions is by keeping an eye on their social media. You can create a new fake profile and try to get close to them on social media platforms. Also, any time you can, go through your partner’s phone. Check their call logs, messages, chats, and even media. Serial cheaters hardly drop their phones, though. And if they do, they’ll most likely have deleted all signs of their infidelity first.
Monitor Them Using a Spy App
This is the best way to spot a cheater. A cell phone monitoring software (spy app) records and relays all the activity on your target phone to you. It can allow you to see everything that is going on with your spouse by keeping a close eye on their mobile device. Most spy apps offer features like call log monitoring, SMS tracking, contact list, social media monitoring, GPS location tracking, etc. An excellent spy app like mSpy also offers a keylogging feature that allows you to get all the passwords typed on your partner’s phones.
Can a Serial Cheater Become Faithful?
Discovering that you have a serial cheating husband or wife can be very disappointing. It may be the end of the relationship for some people, while others may try saving their relationships. This latter set of people always ask if serial cheaters can ever become faithful eventually. The truth is, it’s tough for regular cheaters to start being faithful to one partner. But if you can tackle the cause of their chronic cheating, the change can happen with hard work and commitment from the partner.
